Your Writing Group May Not Be the Best Thing for Your Writing
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Support. Camaraderie. Feedback. Connections. When we think of our ideal writing group, these spring to mind. We’d love to have some forum for sharing our work and commiserating the challenges and celebrating the wins. A good writing group can give us all of these things.
I’ve been lucky enough to be part of a great writing group for many years now. We no longer come together as regularly as we used to, but we’re still there for each other when we need beta readers, encouragement, or advice. We’ve been together long enough and know each other (and each other’s work) well enough to be honest, and know it comes from a place of knowledge and wanting to make the work better.
And writing is easier with some sort of community. I often encourage my clients to get other forms of support and accountability. Writing can be lonely, and there are days when we wonder why we’re bothering. We’re lucky to live in an era when community is readily available in so many forms, especially virtual. If you want some kind of writing community, you can find it.
But...
I’ve also known writers who dealt with toxic or simply unhelpful communities, that not only harmed their writing but also their self-esteem. There are many ways a writing group can do more harm than good. The following are a few considerations as you evaluate your writing group experience:
What type of group is it? Knowing what kind of support you want is crucial. Is it a group dedicated to giving feedback on work in progress? Is it about responding to writing prompts and generating new work? Is it mostly support and encouragement and maybe learning about different topics of craft and publishing? It’s crucial to know which type of group is right for you at this point. A misalignment of goals can only lead to frustration.
Are there writers at different levels of their careers, or are they about the same level? Either can work, and both can have drawbacks. Uneven groups can lead to “rock stars” dominating the group. Or the more advanced writers may feel they are giving more than they are getting. Even-level groups can be wonderfully supportive, but they may not be able to push you to the next level. You may not know what type of group you’re getting into at the start, but it’s something to be aware of as you get to know the other writers.
Is it all one genre, or multi-genre? A group dedicated to your genre (memoir, literary fiction, romance, SFF, kidlit, etc.) can be especially helpful since everyone will presumably be well-read and know the tropes and standards for the genre. A multi-genre group can also be a great way to learn about different forms of writing and look at your own writing in new ways – but you and others may struggle to give substantive feedback in genres you’re not familiar with.
Are diverse voices present and respected? Or is the group based on a particular identity? Remember not all diversity is visible. There may be neurodivergent writers, LGBTQIA+ writers, and others who represent diverse perspectives. If the group is diverse, how well do the writers provide sensitive feedback not based on their own assumptions? Other groups focus on a particular identity, such as “mom writers” or Black writers. These can be important support networks full of people who understand the particular challenges of that demographic. Again, there’s no right or wrong here, just things to be aware of.
Beware of “Groupthink.” When groups have been together for a while, it’s easy to make assumptions about the writing. Or, people may not want to interrupt the harmony of the group by disagreeing. If you all gel well, it’s easy to slip into “groupthink” without realizing it. People don’t learn and grow as writers. Or there may be one writer whose voice dominates, and everyone tends to fall into line. You ideally want lively, but respectful, conversation.
People don’t know how to give feedback. Some are too kind; some are too blunt. Some think they know more than they do. Many know how to write, but not how to edit. You get wildly different responses. You may feel like if you don‘t take the group’s advice, you’re in danger of being shut out. Obviously, all response is subjective to some extent, and you do need to learn to judge for yourself what is helpful and not, but you shouldn’t feel pressured to do what the group thinks is right.
The group subscribes to “rules” for writing, and if you don’t follow them, you’re a bad writer. It’s fine to have a preference for a particular system. I’ve talked about many of them in the past, from Save the Cat to the Hero’s Journey to the Inside Outline to Lisa Cron’s scene card method – and a million more that exist out there. Any of them can be helpful, but if they’re rigidly applied, they can be a straitjacket for your story. Learn the “rules” and then learn when you can break them. Sometimes your “breaks” won’t work, and hopefully the group will be able to tell you why. But each writer has their own path, and forcing you to use a system that doesn’t work for you will backfire on your writing.
You get too much feedback too early. This is especially difficult in the first draft stage. You may end up revising the first few chapters over and over, and never make progress on the rest of the book. If you’re getting feedback piece by piece, you have to take the comments with the realization that they are reading things out of context, not as an actual reader would see the book. You may need to only ask for feedback once a draft is completed, or maybe if you are stuck and need help brainstorming.
You don’t get enough actionable feedback. This goes back to people not knowing how to give good feedback, or not actually knowing enough to help you. “I liked this” or “I don‘t like that” are unhelpful responses. Or, someone might be too prescriptive with their feedback, basically telling you how to write your story. You need people who can be honest, and who can ask good questions that spur your thinking.
You spend more time giving feedback to other writers than you do on your own writing. A schedule should be reasonable in terms of expectations regarding reading and feedback. It’s fine to have bigger chunks - even whole novels - as long as you’re given enough time to read and respond. Another aspect of this is when you are giving detailed feedback, but getting minimal responses from others.
There are toxic people or practices that are not being addressed. It can be hard to have conversations with people whose speech or behavior is problematic, especially if the group doesn’t have a formal leader. Or perhaps feedback is disguised as “tough love” because hey, it’s a hard world out there, snowflake, and you’d better get used to it. Or maybe there are people who melt down or argue at any criticism of their work. In these situations, you may have no choice but to leave. You need to prioritize your mental health. Which isn’t to say that you might not get some feedback that’s tough to hear. Writers do need to develop thick skins if we’re going to put our work out there. But if your group meetings leave you stressed, depressed, and demoralized, it’s time to find another one.
Don’t be afraid to shop around for a good writing group! When they work, they can do wonders to support you and your writing. On the other hand, a bad fit can derail you for months – or years.
What do you consider red flags – or green flags – in a writer’s group? Let us know in the comments!
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