How to Write First Lines that Hook the Reader
“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a giant insect.” - The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” - Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen.
“Mr and Mrs Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, J.K. Rowling.
“Call me Ishmael.” Moby Dick, Herman Melville.
A great first line introduces us to the world of the novel. We know immediately we are in good hands. We are drawn in by the tone, the voice, and the questions that arise from the very first sentence.
Holy crap, a guy woke up as a bug! How did that happen? What is he going to do now?
Okay, I bet there’s going to be a marriage happening here... wonder how that comes about?
Uh, oh, I bet “normal” isn’t going to last very long...
Why would we call him Ishmael? That isn’t his name? What’s going on?
Classic first lines are classic for a reason. If you’re looking at your own first chapter, and thinking your first line is kind of a dud (or have no idea if it’s good or not), you are not alone. For many writers, the first line of a novel is the one that causes the most anxiety. It carries a lot of weight; it must hook the reader, opening aa door to the fictional world, drawing them irresistibly forward.
This must, of course, continue through the first paragraph. No point in an amazing hook if it leads somewhere dull. It’s like smelling the coffee brewing, anticipating the sweet caffeine buzz, then getting handed a cup of decaf.
Good beginnings have a lot of work to do. They must do one or more of the following:
Introduce the voice
Introduce us to the fictional world
Introduce us to a character or characters
Set the tone
Put us in the action (The Metamorphosis was the last time you could get away with having a story start with someone waking up. If they’re not waking up as a bug, don’t start with that.)
This is where writers get confused. They think a great first line has to do ALL the things at once. They try to cram too much in. Too many characters. Action without context. Or even worse, dialogue, when we have no idea who these people are or what they’re talking about.
There are several ways you can create a compelling opening line:
Introduce a character “The Golem's life began in the hold of a steamship.” The Golem and the Jinnii, Helene Wecker.
Voice “Check this out. This dude named Andrew Dhal holds the world record for blowing up the most balloons... with his nose.” Ghost, Jason Reynolds.
Specificity “My name is India Opal Buloni, and last summer my daddy, the preacher, sent me to the store for a box of macaroni-and-cheese, some white rice, and two tomatoes, and I came back with a dog.” Because of Winn-Dixie, Kate DiCamillo.
Tone “As I sat in the bath-tub, soaping a meditative foot and singing, if I remember correctly, ‘Pale Hands I Loved Beside the Shalimar’, it would be deceiving my public to say that I was feeling boomps-a-daisy.” Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit, P.G. Wodehouse.
Question or tease “’Lymond is back.’ It was known soon after the Sea-Catte reached Scotland from Campvere with an illicit cargo and a man she should not have carried.” - Game of Kings, Dorothy Dunnett.
Action “May spent the morning in high feather preparing for the party, dusting and scrubbing the parlor as though elbow grease alone could solve everything.” The Other Alcott, Elise Hooper
Introduce the world “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.” The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien
Notice how each example also shows authorial credibility. We trust the author to take us on an amazing journey. The language is specific, interesting, and draws us in. We want to read further.
Also, every example creates a question in the reader’s mind. This is key! If it’s a flat sentence, you lose a huge opportunity. If it’s confusing, you are losing that authorial credibility.
Notice how many of the above examples tick more than one box: voice and tone and character; question/tease and introducing the world; and so on. You don’t have to cram in all possibilities, but if you can fit in two or three, it will create a dynamic opening that keeps readers wanting to read on.
The first sentence – or better, first paragraph – is the one you will likely rewrite the most. That’s okay! You should write it and rewrite it. But not during the first draft. When you get to THE END, for the final time, that’s when you go back and polish the heck out of the beginning. By then, you know the characters and their world intimately. You know how the whole story plays out. You’ve established the tone. Only then can you write a kick-ass opening.
Try this with a story or novel you think you’ve finished. It’s okay if it’s old and you’re not working on it any longer – in fact, it can be better because it allows you to PLAY because you’re not as attached to the outcome. Don’t be satisfied with your first few attempts. Write your first sentence/first paragraph ten times, in totally different ways.
This can work in your early drafts too. If you’re having trouble nailing the tone or voice, you can play with it until it feels like something you want to move forward with. Just don’t get too attached to it. You likely will change it before you call the book done.
Don’t forget to ask beta readers, your critique group, or whoever you have reading your novel what they think of the opening as well. Remember they may be committed to reading the whole thing no matter what, so ask them to talk specifically about the opening. If they grabbed this book off a bookstore shelf, would the opening paragraph keep them reading? Would it make them say, Holy cow, I’ve gotta buy this book!? Would it make an agent or editor read on?
All of this is easier said than done, of course. Don’t aim for perfection (it doesn’t exist). Aim for a compelling, interesting opening that establishes your authorial credibility and asks a question in the reader’s mind, and you’ll be on your way to an engrossing story.
