Are You Truly Choosing Your Hard?

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The idea of “choosing your hard” has gone around self-help circles as a sort of tough-love motivational quote. To be fair, most of us need this reminder every once in a while in some area of our lives.  

There are times when we don’t feel like writing. We don’t want to expend the energy. We find a million other things to do that seem way easier in that moment. What it comes down to is, the things that are worth doing are hard, but the cost of not doing them is harder.  

Writing is hard. Not writing is hard – choose your hard. Of course, writing can also be a joyful flow – but it’s not like that every day. But if you’re a writer, then endless procrastination is hard on a whole other level. Refusing to show up for yourself hurts your soul. If you can be happy not writing, then don’t write. But make it a real choice, not a default because you can’t face your fears, or doing a lot of work that may not get you the reward you seek.  

I saw a question in a writer’s Facebook group the other day that went along the lines of, “I don’t want to spend my time doing all this if I’m not getting sales/making money.” They wanted to be a writer, but they didn’t want to put in the work. They thought it should be easy, based on what they’d seen online – other writers (mostly self-pubbed) making a living writing.  

Now, I’m not saying there aren’t writers out there who are making a living at it. But it’s not a miracle. Those writers who are successful at self-publishing are choosing their hard: the hard work of not just writing but producing their own books. They do the marketing and self-promotion. They understand the ins and outs of the process. They have maybe dozens of books available, and have built up a loyal audience.  

Other writers choose the hard of traditional publishing. They spend hours polishing their query letter, researching agents and querying them, then (if they’re lucky) polishing their manuscript to sell to an editor – and then more hours marketing their book when it comes out.  

Marketing is something many writers say they hate, but again - Marketing is hard. Not having an audience is hard. Choose your hard.    

The best writers also choose the hard work of revising and editing their manuscript to make it the best it can be. Self-publishing still gets a bad rep partly because there are plenty of writers who don’t edit deeply or hire a proofreader. There are still many who are blind to how their book could be better. Some readers, of course, don’t care – the writer has managed to charm them with a hard-driving plot or characters whose emotional entanglements keep them turning the page. But is that how you want to show up as a writer?  

Revision is hard. Having a book you’re not proud of out there is hard. Choose your hard.  

And of course - Rejection is hard. Never putting your work out into the world is hard. Choose your hard.  

In many ways, it comes down to your Why. Why do you write at all? Is it for artistic expression? To tell your truth? To entertain? To make a buck? To inform or teach? To inspire? Why do you want to traditionally publish, or to self-publish? Understanding your Why can help you choose your hard.  

And it should be a choice. Don’t default to something simply because it seems easier. There is a cost and a consequence for every creative choice. Make it consciously.   

Sometimes you have to do things you don’t feel like or don’t want to. In our culture of increasing entitlement, of easy distractions, and high stress, there are a million reasons to not do the hard thing, or to choose what looks like the easier hard.  

The thing is, no one is coming to save you. No one can do it for you. Or as Mel Robbins says, you have to learn to parent yourself – to give yourself the deadlines and the discipline to stay persistent and keep doing the hard thing to achieve your goals. If you are choosing NOT to do the hard work of writing, ask yourself honestly why. What is that dream to you? What do you want to achieve? Have you outgrown it? Do you need to let it go, to let something else in that you are truly meant to be doing? Or are you avoiding it out of fear? Do you just need to face your fears, and recommit to your creative soul?   

Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. You can get support! A writing group, and accountability buddy, a book coach, a workshop... you don’t have to do it all alone. There are more ways of getting writerly support than ever before. There are other people out there choosing their hard. Together, you can work toward achieving your dreams. 

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